Why Do We Care So Much?

I watched the movie "The Blind Side" last night, for which Sandra Bullock won a best actress Oscar.  The movie was great and got me thinking about disadvantaged people and why we care so much.  In the movie, a family ends up taking in a total stranger who has suffered a life of neglect and poverty.  They nurture and support him towards his own ultimate success.

As we each go through our day-to-day world we come across so many people that have less than us, and yet, there are a few that we truly "connect" with and want to help.  Dan Gardner in his book "Risk" talks about the numbers of people in need as being overwhelming to the average person, we can't relate.  However, when these numbers are reduced to a single story or person, it links more easily to our emotions, as a result it is easier for us to act when it is one person than 1000.  It still doesn't answer the question of why we do it.

In teaching, there are so many students that cross our paths, that at times the need can be overwhelming and yet, we do what we can for each one of them.  Still, there are some students that truly "catch" us and pull us into their story for whom we want to do more, and in doing more, we gain.  I think it is as much what we get out of the relationship as what the other person does that makes us care.  It is in this shared sense of growth, support, and nurturing that we gain as well.  I see first hand examples every day from students, parents, and school staff caring for other individuals.

There is a little boy at school with whom we have struggled over the years.  This year has been a standout year for him as many staff have reached out and provided the support and understanding that he needs to be successful.  In extending that understanding we too have benefited.  I saw him and his father in the school hallway a while ago and stopped them both to say thank-you for helping me to learn the value of patience.  In this relationship, we have both gained.

So, why do we care so much?  It is in our capacity as human beings that we have the unique gift of empathy.  Beyond simply caring for others, it is also a bit selfish as we realize that in giving we also gain.